Question of the Day:

What are the fruits of your being?

Humans do not have the patience or the humility of God. We want things done tomorrow, today or yesterday to achieve our immediate goals.

Spiritual power, however, is the ability to influence events and others through one's very being. 

Evolved people change others interiorly through who they are, and through their sharing of wisdom, but not through mere external pressure. It is a slower process, but much more long lasting. 

-Richard Rohr, Bias from the Bottom

Going Green

Let’s dish on social consciousness, spiritual integrity and intellectual discernment with a side of good judgment and common sense, shall we?  There are some great books I’ve been perusing lately, that I'd like to share:

Serve God Save the Planet; A Christian Call to Action by J. Matthew Sleeth, MD

Sleeth does a fabulous job outlining scriptural lessons of personal responsibility, simplicity and stewardship that we can apply to modern life.  He lays out the rationale for environmentally responsible life changes and a how-to guide for making those changes.  This book is both inspiring and convicting.

Food & Faith; Justice, Joy and daily bread with Wendell Berry, Thomas Moor, Elizabeth Johnson, John Robbins and others

This book is a great resource examining food choices through the lens of faith.  It explores the meaning of our meals: sacramental characters, connections to health, the demise of the family farm, organisms and world hunger.  It’s more of a resource book than a page-turner, but I’ve found it to be very enlightening, especially in relation to animal cruelty and genetically modified food.  Also, it’s more reflective than preachy in tone.

The Gospel According to America; A Meditation on a God-blessed, Christ-haunted Idea by David Dark

A good friend of mine wrote this book.  After spending the day with him and his lovely family at my pool yesterday, I plucked it off the bookshelf and began a journey with David into the modern-day culture of Christian America.  David is an unassuming sage, providing fodder for lively conversation about what it means to be Christian and American in this “weird moment” in which we live. 

He writes in his introduction:  In my own media consumption, my desire for a good story or a truthful word isn’t divided between the entertaining and the informative.  It’s the truthful that I’m looking for… and the truthful account, comedy, celebration, or lamentation is good news because it acknowledges the beautiful or the tragic of lived human experience.  It’s gospel, because it’s true.  And of course, learning to desire truthfulness more than self-assurance or the facts-on-the-ground more than what would suit our preferred versions of reality is an ongoing work of prayer and confession never unrelated to listening and watching well…  It’s a great dose of intellectual acumen and culturally iconic moments and meanings—all laced with spiritual reality and integration.  I’m looking forward to reading more.

Happy socially conscientious reading my friends.  Remember to recycle, conserve energy and water, consider others, waste not and just think before you do things. (Do you really need a bag to carry that book home from the bookstore, that you'll most likely just throw away ?) It's the little things my friends, that make the bigger differences -in both our social and personal economies. 

This is a part of Watercooler Wednesday!!

Ego and Soul

We create artificial fullness and try to hang on to that. But there's nothing to hold on to when we begin to taste the fullness of the now. God is either in this now or God isn't at all.

As we grow older, we tend to become control freaks. We need to control everybody and everything, moment by moment, to be happy. If the now has never been full or sufficient, we will always be grasping, even addictive or obsessive. If you're pushing yourself and others around, you have not yet found the secret of happiness.

                                              -Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs

Monday afternoon

I have a lot on my mind these days.  I’ve not been up for writing.  I’ve been feeling a little languid in general: slow on the uptake with exercise, hazy in my creativity and preoccupied with the droll sound bites that have no contribution to my well-being, but make me laugh.

My most focused energy goes into my work.

Sometimes though, thoughts need breathing room and a little privacy before they are doled out.  They need to churn, cultivate and be juxtaposed with their counterpoint.  I am continually learning, and in turn considering with my clients, the art of non-reacting: letting a thought (or a mood) hang around for a bit before taking decisive action or spouting out a trendy or knee-jerk opinion.  It’s wise to consider something from more than our own visceral perspectives.  And we have as much to learn from our reaction to things as we do from the actual thing provoking the reaction.

Today I caught my snap again.  I went for a long, leisurely bike ride through Percy Warner Park (pictured above).  It felt good to push on my atrophied leg muscles, with nature lollygagging all around me.

Well, this is sort of a non-sequitur (welcome to the inside of my head)  but here’s an excerpt from something I’ve been reading and, in turn, churning in my mind’s eye:

Our longing for goodness and rightness and acceptance—and orientation—makes us cling to bumper slogan truths, that in our profound upside-down-ness, somehow seem deep but in fact make no sense: “Stand up for your rights” sounds so good.  How about “All I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten”? and “Practice random kindnesses and senseless acts of beauty”? and so forth.

         Such sayings contain a tiny element of truth.  But if you try to actually plan your life using them you are immediately in deep, deep trouble, modeling your life after a caricature of the truth. Try instead “Stand up for your responsibilities” or “I don’t know what I need to know and must now devote my full attention and strength to finding out” or “Practice routinely purposeful kindnesses and intelligent acts of beauty.”

         Putting these into practice immediately begins to bring truth, goodness, strength, and beauty into our lives.  What is truly profound is thought to be stupid and trivial, or worse, boring, while what is actually stupid and trivial is thought to be profound.  That is what it means to fly upside down. 

         All that is really profound in the cute wisdom is the awesome need of soul to which they incoherently respond.

-Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy

Steady on

Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain
- Robert Gary Lee

After a late-morning walk in the drizzle with MT, some quiet God time, a really great cup of coffee and four hours of therapy in my home office, my mood is on the mellow this afternoon. I've been thinking about the most recent tragedy's in Burma and China, with a projected death toll of over 150,000, collectively. The numbers are surreal, aren't they? And Asia feels so far away from the cookies I currently have baking in my oven or the hour I have off right now, to write this blog. It's a fine balance, staying attuned to tragedy and delight. Pain and perseverance. The best and worst of times.

Consequently, I really believe that everything is going to be okay. (This is not a usual place for me to land. I'm generally more (or less) reactive: checked-out or sucked too deep in.) But on a radical level, I do believe that it's all okay. And the okay-ness of everything is not contingent on anything that will or will not happen; there is long-suffering all around. But there is also grace, and spirit. Let's all be praying for the fine balance: in ourselves and in our world.

Misc reading

I have come across a few interesting articles lately on the phenomenon of memoirs and blogs as therapy.  I'm one of those self-doubting (and probably self-indulgent) writers.  I like to write, but often wonder if I have anything new to contribute. (I know -waa waa!)  Anaïs Nin says, The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.  This is my goal, in both writing and therapy, to ink or give voice to the sensation that hasn't yet surfaced into words.  I'm curious; What is your writing goal, my web-log writing community of friends? Also, I've recently added some blogs to my blog roll.  Check them out!  I'd like to especially highlight a friend of mine, Buckley, who has recently started the blog Junebug vs Hurricane. Buckley is a writers writer, a true wordsmith.  His subtle wit, poignant perspective and easy to read style makes for both an entertaining and enlightening blog read.  He's just started and is only like 5 blog posts in: start from the beginning, I think my favorite post is his very first one. Welcome to our world Buckley!

Totally unrelated: Is it so bad to eat cookies for breakfast?  It's my newest self-destructive jag. 

A Lesson in Love

I had one of those perfectly placid nights last night, you know those times, when you have that ineffable sense that everything is right in the world.  It was that night where you take a muscle soothing bath early on, your house is clean, your sheets are soft and Downy fresh—just out of the dryer, your favorite candle provides temper and bouquet, your current read feels like your BFF, you’re present, serene and it’s only 9:00 pm!  (This happens about twice a year for me.) Twenty minutes into my read I got a phone call from an out-of-town friend.  She had some heartbreak pushing her around and needed to talk; she was feeling confused, vulnerable and despondent due to a round of pretty potent misfires with her boyfriend.  I listened to her and hurt for her; the disappointment and fear in her voice were palpable.  And I understood her plight: after hearing her perspective, I understood why she was confused, mired in mixed-messages, intuitive enough to know she isn’t crazy but feeling as though she is.  Ugh.  We’ve all been there, no?

Our conversation was cut short, for reasons insignificant to this post, but it left me thoughtful about issues of the heart, the essence and definition of real love, and the fleeting and intoxicating feelings of falling in love, posing as actual love in the short-term, but in many way’s, it's opposite. I left my current BFF  (The Audacity of Hope by Barak Obama) and settled in with an old faithful, The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. Peck defines love as thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.  When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion- through the fact that for that someone (or for ourselves) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile.  Love is NOT effortless.  To the contrary, love is effortful.  Using the word “will” helps transcend the distinction between desire and action. Desire is not necessarily translated into action.  Will is desire of sufficient intensity that it is translated into action.  More aptly: the desire to love is not itself love.  Love is as love does.  Love is an act of will –namely, both an intention and an action.  What was confusing for my friend is that her beau desired to love her.  He had the intention of loving her and she believed that, in essence believing him. But his desire wasn't being substantiated into anything besides the feeling he had for her at whim.  She was mixed up because intuitively she knew it wasn't enough and she was despondent wondering if it should be.

I think we are all vulnerable in our quest to love and be loved: in a culture where glamour (desire) often passes for love, feelings (which change every 5 minutes) become our primary navigational tools, and the stimuli and ramped up pace of daily existence can subtly work against us, keeping us daft and inattentive to other people (and ourselves), it’s hard to stay attuned to true spiritual growth, maturity and mindfulness.  Last night while I was reading I got a random text message from a friend.  This friend is a guy to whom I don’t feel romantic attachment but enjoy and respect.  After getting his text I thought: X is a small example of how I am loved well.  He is aware of me. His acts of kindness toward me require nothing of me.  He does little things for me, not all the time, but every now and again, and I’m never left feeling exhausted or guilty by his benevolence.  If he does have romantic feelings for me he is restrained and discreet, respectful of the non-verbal cues I probably give out.  In light of Peck’s definition, X has a will of love towards me; his love for me in based in actions and integrity, not a payback.  I feel grateful as I have a handful of friends and family by whom I feel well loved.  But I am again reminded of what it is TO love. And that this love business is not for the faint of heart.

I am not intense, per say. My blog is mostly smack talk and my friends and I are deeply (probably too) committed to the pursuit of pleasure.  But it is my honest desire to not confuse good times with immaturity, being childlike for being childish or social networking with relational ADD. I hope to be part of the system that generates and contributes to real love versus a self-fulfilling mimicry of such love.  Love well my friends. I’m trying to do the same.

This post is a part of Watercooler Wednesday. Check out other creative blogs!

Stuff Christians Like

My new favorite blog: Stuff Christians Like.  If you like Stuff White People Like, you'll love this one.  And don't forget to look into the archives.  A favorite of mine is the Christian phrase: Love On.  Here's an example of how to use it: "Mark is going through some tough times right now, we really need to love on him."  Like getting your freak on, but Christiany.  Enjoy the blog. Enjoy the Thomas Kinkade that I've posted for your Christian viewing pleasure and inspiration. And thank-you Kellie, for turning me onto this gem of a blog.  

This post is a part of Watercooler Wednesday. Check out other creative blogs!

The Enneagram

Those of you that know me well, via sitting on my couch or as a friend, know that I do a great deal of personal and professional work with the Enneagram.  Just today I was talking to a colleague that utilized this tool in her office with a married couple -husband 9/wife 7- (there are 9 personality types) and was sharing about the "ahha" moment this couple had,  (finally) feeling understood and articulated after years of confusion, total ambivalence or misunderstanding.  For a wife to realize that her husband is not just “lazy” and “passive” but rather he’s a 9, which also carries traits of being reassuring, self-possessed and a peacemaker, is both healing and hope bearing, for both parties. The Enneagram, in my estimation, is the best personality assessment out there.  It helps us understand who we are, the grid from which we interpret the world, the strengths that shape us and the pitfalls by which we’re plagued.  It gives root to our virtue and sin (dignity and depravity), shedding light on why we do what we do and why we respond generously to certain people while we’re intolerant of others.  You will recognize yourself in one of the numbers; you will feel identified, known.  Knowing the number of those you love cultivates an empathy towards their struggles and a deep gratitude for their goodness. You will begin to observe the behaviors of others versus constantly judging them.  This tool fosters understanding, which can leads to grace, mercy and ultimately redemption.  I would highly recommend taking the test, and delving into the dual truths that define you:  your light and your darkness.  Remember that truth always sets us free, which is the one (maybe only) thing I know to be true.

Another great resource, adding the spiritual component to this test, is  The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr and Andreas Elbert.

Holy the Firm, by Annie Dillard

This is a jackpot.  It's a little gem of a book, one that I pick up when I'm feeling wistful, reflective or creative.  Dillard's word dance with nature and philosophy is transcendent, often reminding me that sunshine may illuminate God's graces, but the raven hues of nightfall hint of His power; and both must be evoked.  Annie has my attention this afternoon.  Today's deep calling the deep contemplations:

There are no events but thoughts and the heart’s hard turning,

The hearts slow learning where to love and whom.

The rest is merely gossip, the tales for other times.

 

In the deep are the violence and terror of which psychology has warned us.  But if you ride these mothers deeper down, if you drop with them farther over the worlds rim, you find what our sciences cannot locate or name, the substrate, the ocean or matrix or ether which buoys the rest, which gives goodness its power for good, and evil its power for evil, the unified field: our complex and inexplicable caring for one another, and for our life together here.  This is given.  It is not learned.

                                                      - Annie Dillard

Bedtime stories

Well, I'm off and blogging again. I am saturated in a world of words: words of counsel, support, information, profundities and shamelessly, lots of mindless, cheap smut talk. That said, I am excited to add my two-bits to this great big world of ethernet verbiage and although I talk a lot of smack there are those lovely, stirring moments that will inevitably be shared as well. So lets start with last night and words that moved me. I currently have a little book on my bedside table entitled Psalms for Praying, An Invitation to Wholeness by Nan Merrill. It is a modern day translation of the Psalms. I know that there are a smattering of books out there these days, making the bible sound and feel more palpable. And I'm all in. I like the works of Eugene Peterson and a few of his contemporaries; they take the denotative meanings of ancient scriptures and imbue them with modern day meanings and connotations. Merrill does this with the Psalms. She takes David's pleas, pledges and praises and sets them to loving, contemplative and even therapeutic expressions that evoke depth without hype. I read her rendering of Psalm 73 last night and felt, well, understood. I would recommend this little book for anyone that is looking for meaning and simplicity sans the duty of guilt or the bore of cliche.